Another early start (6am) to get to the village of Aco (1 hours away over bumpy and dusty tracks) and meet the chap who is probably going to be producing the combustion chambers for the stoves project. He’d forgotten to bring the prototype with him, so after hanging around for 1.5 hours, I got to borrow someone’s beetle and drive up to his village (another 30 minutes away on very bumpy tracks). The prototype needs a bit of altering, but it’s looking good and won’t be too long before the project can actually be up and running. I have to go back in 2 weeks to pick up the first batch (of 10) – I just hope he remembers to bring them this time!!
Jun 032011
Jun 012011
Had an exhausting 3 days on retreat – with roommates’ heavy snoring and insistence on watching TV until 1am and then starting again at 5am being the main reasons behind my tiredness. Running the event went well, but we ran out of time to do everything (not helped by everyone turning up 1.5 hours late, having stopped for ice-cream on the way!!) so we’ll finish off next week. I know that not everyone shared my opinion, but I was generally encouraged by what we were able to achieve. The trick will now be able to turn what is on paper into action…
May 302011
So it is nearly 9pm and I am home alone. Paul is running his 3-day retreat in a town an hour away. The doorbell goes (the highly inappropriate one that blasts out the wedding march, Christmas carols and other delights at high volume) and looking out of the window I see the guy who keeps coming to our home for food, attention and … well needs a lot of looking after. He (at 34 years old) called us both mum and dad the other day !!!!) has been a challenge in many, many ways and tested our patience big-time. He has taken advantage to the point where we have had to lay down rules…. yet at the same time he has made an effort to try to be our friends (he does our washing up quite regularly – that is about as far as friendship goes here).
He has been thrown out of his lodgings- a local hostal (here that means a brothel) and so has turned to us for help – we can’t help. At least, while I am home alone I can’t let him in – we have a rule to protect me… so I had to turn him away (after standing on the doorstep for a while chatting to him and then giving him the remains of my bean dinner. Thinking about it now I could maybe have found him a cheap room somewhere and paid for it (only just thought of that) – but I know he has money of his own (not very much) that he refuses to use… so at the end of the day if he has nowhere to go, he isn’t really helping himself is he??? Hmmm.
It isn’t easy helping others to help themselves when really then just want to be looked after. That is why I am so tired and zapped.Helping others isn’t often very rewarding, it is mainly sacrificial.
I am very thankful for our flat and a warm bed – it is getting significantly chilly here as we head into winter.
May 282011
Spent the last couple of days writing materials and organising the time for the forthcoming staff strategy planning retreat (Monday – Wednesday). Think I’m all set to go, but I think I’m going to have my work cut out for me (as the facilitator) to make it a useful time for all involved – much depends on the attitudes that people come with and how I manage the three days and the whole strategy process. Potentially, the meeting could set the tone for the work of the Trust in Huancayo for the next few years at least, so the pressure is on to make sure I manage it well.
May 262011
Well, since my last post about progress in Chincha we have since lost contact with our ‘friends’ in Chincha. We suspect that A, the husband wasn’t happy with us for various reasons and has probably forbidden his wife to be in contact. This upsets me as she could at least send one message to let us know. But no. If our suspicions are not correct, then…well…. they are being very unappreciative… and very Peruvian. I can’t wait to leave this country.
May 252011
Up a little after 4:30am this morning to visit the tiny village of Quicha (key-cha) about 90 minutes bumpy driving away from Huancayo where the quality of their local clay is sufficient to make the combustion chamber that will be the heart of my stove project. I’ve got to go back next week in order to see a prototype, but thankfully an hour later!!
May 242011
One of the things I’ve been planning on organising before leaving is a staff retreat to think about the identity of the charity and to strategically plan for the future. I had originally hoped to be in the discussions myself but, since I am now leaving, I have become the facilitator which means that I have been very busy over the last couple of days putting together materials and a programme for next Monday-Wednesday. Here’s hoping that it proves to be a valuable time away…
May 232011
It’s not quite as bad as the opening of the sale at Selfridges, but when we produced a list of stuff that we’re looking to sell or give away before leaving we never expected to have so many people beating a path to our door armed with wads of cash. 72 hours later and we only have a small handful of items left to sell, so that is a weight of our minds. Still got all the packing and moving to go though!
May 162011
…though not without lots of stress, disappointment and anger on everyone’s part. I have been struggling lots with this situation (the couple with 4 children whose marriage is about to spectacularly fall apart). We have managed to have two session over skype with them both since we were last down in Chincha, and we left some goals/tasks to do together as homework. The husband, however, seemed to be more intent on tearing his wife apart than doing the tasks we left them, and then wondered why she wasn’t changing!?!? Hmmm. Such a shame he doesn’t realise it is him who needs to change the most!
After ignoring our advice several times in favour of doing the exact opposite, we had to tell him that we were not prepared to waste our time counselling him if all he was going to do was ignore what we say. We haven’t been in contact for the last couple of weeks.
I have, however, kept in regular contact with his wife, M, and we have decided to tackle this situation from a different angle. Since her husband, A, is not ready to deal with his own personal problems (which we consider to be the bigger contribution to their failing marriage) we are now investing our energies in M’s personal development. She has been so walked over and controlled by A to the extent of not being able to make her own decisions or do anything apart from look after 4 kids (a huge job, we give her lots of credit). My sessions (roughly 3 times a week) over messenger chat, are now aimed at encouraging her independence, opportunities to learn new skills, goals to bring order back into her household and the possibility of starting a new low-key dessert-making business. She sets herself 2 goals a week and I hold her accountable.
Since we have been doing this, things seem to be a little more positive between them. Granted, A isn’t making much of an advancement, but maybe his wife’s changing focus is changing his perspective a little…?!?!?! We’ll see.
I have to confess being very faithless with very little hope in the last few weeks… but perhaps something good will come of this situation, even if a saved marriage still seems a little impossible.